how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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women's rights.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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