Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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