What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops