How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops