i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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rose are red violets should be purple

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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3

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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