why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

thumb_up thumb_down -18

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

thumb_up thumb_down -18

three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops