There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +21

there was once a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Legal Mexicans in Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops