What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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woman's rights

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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