Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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