What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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