What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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osama bin laden is dead

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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