Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops