What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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