Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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You having friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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