How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops