One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +7

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops