What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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