What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Joesph Triphook.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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