There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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which one is easiest

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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You bumder!

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops