What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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