As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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minorities

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops