How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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hi dave

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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