What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What would u like to drink?

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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YO FACE

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops