Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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guess what what that wasnt it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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Good job, son.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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