A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

whats black and strange a paki

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...