Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -5

osama bin laden is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the defination of cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops