What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

what's the difference between a duck?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

F? No k

A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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