If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Dislike this.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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