Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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SUCK MY NUTS

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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No.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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