John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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