Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

punchline below punchline above

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

What do you call white trash Garbage

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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