A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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A man was shot. He died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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