One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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