What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

thumb_up thumb_down -34

YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

thumb_up thumb_down -36

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops