Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Knock, Knock ...

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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