Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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heat!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops