- Anti Joke

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

What rymes with milk..... milf

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

This comment is anti to jokes.

A BABY seal walks into a club

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

Obama 2012

what is not funny? This joke.

What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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