Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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