Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops