What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops