Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops