How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops