Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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I woke up today

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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