How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Your face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops