Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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