What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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