HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Justin Beiber

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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PENIS

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Black people stink of shite!

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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