How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops