What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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