Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops