Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

david give me my money back... i will have it next week

What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

I forgot what i was gonna say

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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