My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

Stop. Seriously stop.

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

what is brown and wet? Muddy water

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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