What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops