Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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