A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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