what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

I love pissing people off :P

Whats the difference between Justin bieber and a dick... The dick

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

there once was a black man who played basketball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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